The Fakest Form Of Real

The principal elements of hip-hop transposed to the British weblogging environment:

• Hydragenic is the best weblog.
• Hydragenic is the most authentic weblog.
• Hydragenic intends to steal your man/woman*. (*Delete as appropriate.)
• Hydragenic is better written written better cooler than all other weblogs.
• Hydragenic has lots of money, drugs and jewellery.
• Hydragenic continues to exist out of respect for those who have gone before (big up to the Swish Cottage and the Mentally Positive).
• Hydragenic is from the streets (or at the very least, the pavement).
• In most cases Hydragenic is completely against violence; however, when violence is required, Hydragenic has the biggest gun.
• All webloggers should stop fighting amongst themselves and fight the oppressor instead.
• Hydragenic loves nothing more than to get onto the dancefloor and shake its extremities.
• Gosh, isn't it enjoyable when we dance so closely together?
• Hydragenic is really, really great. Honestly.

Posted by Hg on Friday 28 November 2003 at 23:00.
Received 6 comments so far.

And, er, Hydragenic has the biggest trainers in da hood?

Or something.

Er . . .

Comment by Vaughan on Friday 28 November 2003 at 23:59.

Heh, heh, excellent! I haven't been Hg way enough lately.....

Comment by Nic on Saturday 29 November 2003 at 12:03.

... and yeah, err Blog it out to ya!

Comment by Nic on Saturday 29 November 2003 at 12:03.

Ah good, excellent to see a continuing misrepresentation of hip hop as a confused version of the modern pop-thug-rap phenomenon. First class.

Comment by James on Saturday 29 November 2003 at 14:10.

Fair point, James. I have music by Roots Manuva (played only this morning, for what that's worth), DJ Format with Abdominal, TTC, Hip Hop Hoodios and The Roots amongst my collection, so I'm aware that this post is indeed a misrepresentation of certain aspects of the genre.

I can't agree entirely with you though. Missy Elliott describes her latest album as "hip-hop" and it demonstrates at least half of the attitudes that I (affectionately) parodied in this post.

Comment by Hg on Saturday 29 November 2003 at 14:41.

Superb post - actually made me spit tea at my PC laughing :-D

Comment by James (A different one...) on Sunday 30 November 2003 at 21:01.

http://www.hydragenic.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/hydragen/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1138

The previous post was The Realest Form Of Fake.

The next post is Where Did The Groove Go?.

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