I’ve recently been fortunate to spend time in Germany and Belgium, two places where I felt very much at home. I had a sense of being treated like a rational, responsible adult. It was assumed that I knew how to behave, that I would be polite to my fellow citizens and tourists, that I would be willing to pay for public transport, that I would throw my litter in rubbish bins or take it home with me and that I would generally make an effort to conduct myself with dignity.
Returning to Britain on both occasions was a depressing experience. The ticket hall at Heathrow underground station was a case in point. Cramped conditions, long queues at impenetrable ticket machines of completely inappropriate complexity, station staff who regarded passengers as an inconvenience, control barriers, warnings everywhere and the underlying assumption that customers will wreak havoc unless tightly controlled.
The above picture, taken on one of my local buses, tells you everything you need to know about Britain in 2007.
Note the shrill, neurotic repetition of newer notices supplanting rather than replacing the old. Note the apparent chronological progression from a single, restrained black and white notice to the contemporary technicolour monstrosity dealing with violence, surveillance, penalty, suppression of culture and the airing of grievance. Note the confused jumble of passive and active voice, of request and order.
People will tell you that British culture is nasty, brutal and loutish, requiring a nasty, brutal and loutish approach to its misdemeanours. Bollocks. People respond to how they’re treated and in this country we are, frankly, treated like cunts. Take down the nasty little notices, scrap the endless, pointless rules & regulations and give us an opportunity to show how responsible we can be when we’re not being constantly hectored, browbeaten and harassed.
Further reading:
I heartily agree with you. I don’t like your use of the word cunt, though
Sorry Jean. It’s one of my favourite expletives, a vocally satisfying, Germanic/Norse, single-syllable explosion of hard vowel and guttural consonant. Yes, I admit to taking a certain childish pleasure in using what is generally considered to be The Worst Word In The English Language, but I use plenty of others too. My profanities are quite even-handed as far as male & female genitalia are concerned.
I’ve been listening to a lot of my old anarcho-punk albums recently and this particular word is used frequently. There’s an infamous album title (which I won’t repeat here for fear of causing further offence, but it’s by Flux Of Pink Indians if anyone wants to look it up) that was probably at the back of my mind when writing this and titling the picture on Flickr.
Oh, and in case anyone was thinking of pointing out that my nasty, brutal and loutish use of language in that final paragraph only serves to demonstrate just how far into the mire this country has sunk… it’s called irony, dahlings. And also: anger, passion, resentment, frustration and despair.
I’m surprised there wasn’t a notice saying it was forbidden to take a picture of this notice.
I’m moving (but unfortunately not out of Britian; just out of England).
Paul – coincidentally I was wondering only a few minutes ago whether this is an English phenomenon, rather than a British one. Where are you moving to?
Scotland, specifically somewhere around about Edinburgh parts.
I’m hoping that this is an English thing and certainly what I have seen so far has led me to believe that I’m going to a better place.
Multiple reasons, not least because of the above, but also to be closer to N Ireland where my wife’s parents life. But also where I live now has changed over the last 10 years. Our local shops (just a row of 7) has one of those anti-teenager dispersal notices. Just makes me depressed in many different ways.
Anyway, are you doing a Top x of 2007 ? I’d like to know if I can hook my tenters ?
Hook away! It’s in draft and indeed would have been published in stages this week had various other things not got in the way.
At the moment I’m torn between rushing out a briefer version than planned, or holding it back until after Christmas to do it the way I originally intended.
Much depends on progress in other areas over the next few hours, so I’ll crack on with those and see how things look at the end of the day.
Last year (or rather this year) you published in January and it was fine for me, a similar email to last year wouldn’t go amiss
I’d rather get the fully version than get a rushed version now.
Is it a year *already*? It seems like only yesterday I was driving the van to Cromer keeping hypothermia at bay by dint of bouncing up and down to The Best Of.
My tenters are hooked up tight
good word I think, but I understand it upsets some people still… words that upset me are “unforgiving” and “war” but that sounds a bit pureist and trite… anyway, merry christmas to you hg xxx
If I weren’t so far behind the tech curve, I’d have a phone with a camera and blender to take a shot of a notice on a beverage machine, and thereafter make a milkshake. Therefore, I’ll simply paraphrase the notice:
“Please follow these steps to purchase:
- Push the button on the machine matching the beverage you’d like to purchase.
- Note whether or not the item is sold out, by viewing the small LED screen which will say, ‘Sold Out’ if the item is actually sold out.
- If your item is not sold out, insert your money into the machine.
- Push the button on the machine matching the beverage you’d like to purchase.
- Find your beverage in the vending receptacle toward the foot of the machine.
- Enjoy your beverage.”
This might actually, due to a rough memory, be a bit more terse than the actual notice. In honor of the notice, I defecate on myself every time I go to buy a Coke, and look indignantly around the break room, waiting for *someone* to acknowledge my entitlement to be babied and pampered.
This country (where im born and bred!) has, from the moment of independance from family, has been increasingly squeezing the life out of us!
More and more little grey rules, made by little grey men in Big grey buildings!
The assumption is, we have no morals or thought!!
You can do this….you cant do that!!! This very vocal group say that this is bad!! YOU CAN’T DO IT!!! GREY RULES!!
It used to be the ozone layer!!! Now it’s Co2!!! wow!! what a great idea!! we can raise a whole heap of new funds by taxing this, and that!!
Anyone whose looked into the co2 thing can see reason for doubt!!
Look to scientific papers available in a google search, read, absorb, debate!!
I say there is NO DEMOCRACY is this country!!
It seems to me the voice of common sense, reason and the ORDINARY people has been LONG TIME LOST!!!
If you have a big following and even more importantly, a BIGGER mouth…. yours words are taken as gospel!! (and if the government can make a bit of money on the side!!! so much the better!!)…. BIG MOUTHED MINORITY GROUPS RULE!!!! OK!!!
I honestly wish my father (god rest his soul) had emigrated to New Zeland, like he planned!! At least then i would’nt have had to suffer the complete bullshit that is now the UK!!!!