Typefaces That Really Should(n’t) Exist

Google-hopping the other evening, I came across the Samizdat magazine website. I haven’t paid much attention to the content as yet, but I was immediately enamoured of the typeface used for the main logo on the site. It’s not a million miles away from the one used in the Hydragenic banner above and I wanted to find out what it was called, to keep a record of it for a possible redesign whenever I get bored with this site’s current image.
I tried both WhatTheFont (upload or link to a graphic file containing a sample) and Identifont (death by a thousand questions), but neither successfully identified it. Pix kindly searched her vast archives without success and Prol has asked her site’s readers if they recognise it (no joy at the time of writing). I might try e-mailing the domain admin & billing contact to see if they can help. (Or can you?)
The research process hasn’t been entirely fruitless, though. The (inaccurate) results provided by Identifont reminded me just how wonderful some typeface names are. Then I started to think of typeface names that really should exist, but don’t. My thoughts quickly descended to the level of schoolboy smut, but I was having such a good time that this didn’t seem to matter. Amongst many, many others I came up with the following contenders:

• Rectal Upright
• Campbell’s Condensed
• WMD Elusive
• Weblogger Intense
• Meatbeater Furious
• Discretion Assura

I ran the idea past some trusted creative sources and was pleased to see that they immediately came up with suggestions. Prol proposed Misogynist Sans and Bold Deceiver, D declared an interest in Forthright Lesbian Bold (my personal favourite) and Terrible Movie Script, while Pix provided the inspiration for Umbilical Contemplated and Reactor Exploded.
Then I started to worry. Typeface names can be so odd sometimes, what if some of these comic suggestions actually existed? I did a few random spot-checks and they don’t. However, it looks like there are plenty of real world examples that are just as bizarre.
What are your favourite insane typeface names, whether real or fictional?